Hillary Swank receives threatening letters!

Forget the writer’s strike the thing that has Hollywood buzzing is the threatening letters that two time Oscar winner Hillary Swank has been receiving.

The letters started arriving at Swank’s home around the time that promotional materials started to go out for her latest flick “P.S. I Love You”. What’s unusual about these threatening letters is that they all start out as nice fan letters. Ever one of the letters starts out gushing about what a beautiful woman Swank is, then each one goes on and on about how talented she is and how amazing she was in “Boy’s Don’t Cry” and “Million Dollar Baby” and how amazing “P.S. I Love You” looks. Each letter is signed “A Friend” or “Your #1 Fan.” It’s after the signature that the letters turn dark. Every single one ends with the following words…P.S. I HATE YOU!! DIE SWANK DIE!! What is even more troublesome is that forensic analysis has verified that those last words are written in human blood!

Officially police won’t say if they have any suspects. However, Fake Gossip News' inside source reports that the number one suspect is none other than Annette Benning! Apparently all of the letters were mailed from a mail box down the street from where Benning lives. Police also have done an unofficial handwriting analysis (from the Benning thank you cards following her 2005 Golden Globe win for “Being Julia). The analysis found man similarities between Benning's handwriting and that of the letter writer’s. The final step is getting a warrant to test Annette’s DNA to see if the blood on the letters is Annette’s.

When Fake Gossip News approached Benning we found that all of her fingers were bandaged up (we’re guessing from all the times she’s pricked her fingers to write in blood). We asked her what she thought about the letters Swank has been receiving. She replied (with one of the fakest smiles we’ve ever seen) “I have worked past all my issues with Hillary Swank. I wish her nothing but the best. Life is not about awards.” Then her face changed from the fake smile to her usual intensity. She then declared “’The Women’ will be my greatest triumph. Awards or no awards people will be talking about that movie and my performance in it for years to come.”

Sadly it seems Annette’s time in the loony bin did not cure her Swank envy.