Has The Gay Slapper Finally Gone Too Far?

Story From July 2005

Hollywood is in shock following the gay slappers latest attack. This time the fabulous gay slapper went after his youngest victim yet. As a result it has people wondering if he has finally gone too far.

The latest attack came over the 4th of July weekend. When young SAG nominee Dakota Fanning was out for a picnic with her family. Dakota was about to bite into a delicious egg salad sandwich prepared by her good friend Michelle Pfeiffer when the gay slapper appeared out of nowhere.

According to Denzel Washington whose family was celebrating the 4th with the Fanning family “We were just sitting there eating when he came out of no where. Zeus in heaven he just went at her.” Apparently the gay slapper said “I haven’t seen it yet but his is for ‘War Of The Worlds’” and then he slapped her but before he ran away he also stole the Pfeiffer made egg salad sandwich. He took a bite and before he ran off he said, “Wow that’s delicious. Can that Catwoman make a sandwich or what?”
Dakota’s many Co-Star’s have expressed great concern over her attack. Michelle Pfieller herself issued the following statement “It’s one thing to slap women like Kate Hudson, Meryl Streep and Lindsay Lohan but to go after a child is just unforgivable.” Fanning’s “Hide And Seek” CO-star Robert DeNiro agreed saying “I’ve played a lot of psycho’s in my day but none of them would have EVER sunk as low as the gay slapper did striking a child is jut unforgivable.”

But as her adult friends are expressing their outrage it seems Dakota herself didn’t really mind. In an exclusive interview with Fake Gossip News Dakota said “It really didn’t hurt that bad. Besides you know you’ve really arrived when the gay slapper gets you. He only goes after the best actresses in town. In a way I’m flattered.”