"Vanished" star is Suri's real mom

When the pictures of little Suri Cruise were finally released to the public last month it was the talk of Hollywood. Many thought the baby would have Tom Cruise’s pretty boy good looks or Katie Holmes' girl next door quality. Instead people from Tom Hanks to Kirstie Ally to “Snakes On A Plane” co-star Lin Shaye were shocked by how much the baby looked like neither one of them. Double Oscar Winner Hanks told Fake Gossip News “At first I thought it was a joke. I mean that baby looks nothing like them. Most people don’t’ know this but Tom is a funny guy. It would be just like him to play a practical joke like that on the world. But no he told me himself it their baby. He’s my friend so I guess I’ve to believe him.” Newly slimmed down two time Emmy Winner Ally said, “Because of our passion for Scientology I’ve stood by Tom the last year and half. But there are somethings even Scientology won’t forgive. That’s not their baby.” Kirstie went on to add, “I can’t wait until my Jenny Craig contract is up. Their food sucks but they paid me more money that I made for all the ‘Look Who’s Talking’ movies put together so I had to take it.” The reaction by Hollywood can best be summed up by Shaye. When Fake Gossip News caught up with her on a hike in Runyan Canyon she declared “Give me a fucking break. That’s not their baby. One of the CGI snakes from my movie would have been more believable than that thing.”

But if Tom and Katie aren’t Suri’s parents who is? There was a lot of talk that Suri looked oddly Asian. It turns out Suri is the biological child of “Vanished” star Ming-Na. Fake Gossip News learned while trying to get her career back on track after leaving “ER” yet again Ming decided she wanted another child. But she didn’t want to put her career on hold again or loose her figure again after using Windor Pilates to get it back.

In an exclusive interview the voice of Mulan sat down with Fake Gossip News to tell her story. Ming declared “The timing appeared to be perfect. Tom and Katie needed a pregnancy in order for their relationship to appear real and I needed a surrogate. We struck a deal for Katie to carry the baby. After she gave birth the official word would be that the baby had been still born. Then a month after Tom and Katie were going to announce their break up. We figured the plan was full proof. The public would feel sorry for them and wouldn’t question the break up. After all what couple could survive that.” Ming went on to add, “I of course was going to get my baby back and officially say that I adopted her.”

So what happened? Apparently Tom changed him mind. There was a lot of behind the scenes drama which explains why it took so long for baby Suri to even be issued a birth certificate. When asked for a comment on this story Tom’s publicist issued the following statement “Suri is the spitting image of Tom and Katie. Any fool can see that.” But according to the polygraph test Ming took for Fake Gossip News she’s telling the truth. But without proof it appears doubtful she’ll ever get her baby back. She says there was an official contract between her Tom and Katie. But when Fake Gossip news asked her to produce it she said, “I can’t produce it. It vanished”. However Ming is hoping to get DNA proof it’s just a matter of getting somebody close enough to Suri to snatch a hair off her head and not a hair from that awful baby wig.