Did Britney ruin her career in order to get slapped?

Ooops she did it again. Once again Britney Spears pulled America’s (or at least Hollywood’s) attention away from real news and onto her. Hollywood was a buzz on November 7th and it wasn’t because of the Democratic Victory in the house and Senate. True blue democrat and Oscar winner Susan Sarandon told Fake Gossip News “As thrilled as I was that the republicans got the boot I was even more thrilled that K. Fed go the boot. Sometimes you cant’ help but care about pop culture.”

All of Hollywood is wondering if Britney’s divorce from Kevin Federline will also be a divorce of sorts from her long career slump. Some were beginning to winder if Britney would be the last to know if she had become a national joke.

But the real question is how did it come to this? How did Britney go from teen sensation to aging white trash pop princess in a few short years? Fake Gossip News was shocked to learn it might have all been a part of Britney’s plan. And we feel extremely lucky to have the inside scoop on this one.

It seems in the summer of 2003 Britney found a new dream. A dream she believed would make her career stronger. When the gay slapper first appeared that summer Britney dreamed of being slapped. Kate Hudson’s career was red hot after the box office success of “How To Loose A Guy In 10 Days” when she became the first slapping victim. Britney assumed she would be the next victim and was devastated when she wasn’t. A close friend of Birtney’s told Fake Gossip news “She wanted to be slapped more than anything. She was already hearing whispers around LA that her career was over and she figured there would be no better way to prove her critics wrong than to get slapped.” Britney’s friend went on to add, “She literally dreamed of getting slapped. She told me of this one dream where he slapped her and she said ‘Hit me baby one more time’ and he did.”

Sadly for Britney as the summer of 2003 neared its end the gay slapper was nowhere to be seen. That’s when Britney devised the first of several events in her life to try to lure a slapping. Spears former publicist confirmed to Fake Gossip News yesterday that the infamous MTV Video Music Awards kiss with Madonna was designed to attract the attention of the gay slapper. But it didn’t work. Over the next three years Britney would virtually destroy her career and life in the hopes of getting slapped. First there was the inclusion of the stupid ass song “Outrageous” on her 2003 cd “In The Zone.” Then there was her quickie Vegas marriage and annulment in January 2004 followed by the controversial video to her balled “Everytime.” When those stunts didn’t’ work Britney decided to kick it up a notch by marring Kevin Federline but again nothing. Then came the reality TV show “Chaos”, a child and then a second baby. Not to mention driving with her first son on her lap and that sad, sad “Dateline NBC” interview.

Birtney’s long time friend and pop rival Christina Aguilera told Fake Gossip News “She tried and tried but the slap never came. For Brit the final straw was when Kevin was booed at the West Hollywood Halloween Carnival. She finally realized she was trying too hard to get slapped and in doing so she was becoming increasingly irrelevant.”

When Fake Gossip News contacted Britney for this story she refused to confirm or deny that she wanted to get slapped but she did issue the following statement “I admit I’ve made some mistakes over the last few years but I feel like I’m back on the right track now. The most important things in my life right now are my sons and making good music again.” (Again? When did she start in the first place?). Spears went on to add “There is something I have wanted for a long time now and I’m hoping my new BFF Paris Hilton will help me get it.”…If recent slaps are any indication Britney may finally get her wish.