Summer Party Results In Another Slapping

Story From August 2005

The annual summer party of the Fake Gossip News staff has resulted in another attack by the gay slapper. Earlier this month the Fake Gossip News staff gathered for their annual summer party at a swanky Pacific Palisades mansion.

All was going well until the staff decided to watch a movie. Several staff members suggested watching “White Chicks” this 2004 summer hit. Most of the staff agreed but there was one staff member (who’s name will not be published but let’s just say he’s as gay as the day is long) who protested saying it was trash and he didn’t ever need to see it to know that. But the movie soon began despite his best efforts to stop it. He threatened to leave to party in protest. Surprisingly everybody enjoyed the movie including the protester who laughed out a loud more than once
Once the movie was over the gay man suddenly got very upset. He jumped out of his seat and said “Damn her. Damn that Busy Phillips all to hell.”

While nobody knows if the next days events were a direct result of the party. The next day former “Dawson’s Creek” star Busy Phillips found herself the latest victim of the gay slapper. In an exclusive interview with Fake Gossip News Busy talked about the attack from the set of her new series “Love Inc.”. Phillips states “I was in-between takes joking around with the crew and enjoying my Venti Mocha Frappacino from Starbucks when he emerged. I knew it was him because he looked so gay also looked very upset.” According to Busy he said, “This is for ‘White Chicks’” and then slapped her across the face before taking her coffee and running away.

When asked how she felt about it Busy said “It was scary. I didn’t think he’d ever get me. I thought I was below his radar. On one hand I agree with Dakota Fanning that someone so fabulous would take time out to attack me but on the other hand he is out of control. I’ve spoken with Jessica Capshaw and Lindsay Lohan about starting a twelve-step support group for victims of the gay slapper. We think if he continues his ways it may be necessary.”

Fake Gossip News contacted Lindsay about the proposed twelve step group and she told us “It’s true. If he’s ever to be stopped the women of Hollywood must stand together. I mean Busy Phillips? Everybody in town thought the first ‘Dawson’s Creek’ victim would be Katie Holms for the horrid thing with Tom Cruise or even Michelle Williams for taking yummy Health Ledger of the market. But I guess we were wrong.”