Annette Benning In Looney Bin!!

It appears that any sanity three time Oscar loser Annette Benning had left is gone. She has been admitted to a psychiatric hospital following a major meltdown at a movie theatre in Marina del Rey.

It was a beautiful Southern California day and Annette and husband Warren Beatty were enjoying lunch at the Warehouse Restaurant right on the waterfront of Marina del Rey. The two of them were discussing what movies they still needed to see before they voted on the Oscars. they were shocked when they realized they had yet to see "The Departed". Instead of watching a screener at home they decided to see it in a theatre. Luckily for them it was playing at the United Artist Theatre right there in Marina del Rey.

Upon arriving at the theatre the couple bought their tickets and concessions. Warren got a large Coke while Annette got a large Diet Coke and a large bucket of popcorn. The two entered the theatre, found their seats and waited for the film the begin.
The couple's wonderful day came to a screeching halt when the second preview came on the screen. It was for "The Reaping" starring none other than Annette's nemesis Hillary Swank!

Because Hillary does not appear in the trailer until fifteen seconds in Annette initially was fine. However, Warren knew the preview was for "The Reaping". He had gotten the preview once before when he saw "Black Christmas" in the theatre with the couple's oldest child and old pal Jack Nicholson. As the preview came on Beatty started saying "Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no."

Then all hell broke loose when Swank's image appears on the screen. Benning said "Oh hell no!" and then got out of her seat. When Warren saw Annette get out of her seat he replied "Oh shit. Here we go."

Annette glared at the screen for a couple of seconds disregarding the requests of the people behind her to sit down. Then she ran towards the screen screaming "No. No. No. Dam you Swank Damn you Swank." As she ran towards the screen Warren stood and yelled out "Turn the preview off. For the love of god somebody turn the motherfucking Hillary Swank preview off."

But it was too late. Upon reaching the screen Annette began clawing at the screen trying to tear it down all the while screaming "I hate you Swank. Damn you and your buffy slaying, karate kid kicking, 90210 ugly ass. Damn you swank!"

The projector was stopped, the lights went on and everybody except Warren and Annette left the theatre. Warren tried to calm Annette by taking he the bucket of of popcorn. As Warren handed Annette her popcorn she sank to the floor clutching the popcorn and staring off into space. A half hour later the men in the white jackets arrived at the theatre and took Annette to the Multiple Oscar Losers Psychiatric Hospital. As Benning was led out of the theatre she began stroking the popcorn bucket as if it were an Oscar and said "I'd like to thank the Academy for this amazing honor."

All of us here at Fake Gossip News hope Annette gets the help s he needs at Multiple Oscar Losers Psychiatric Hospital. After all the staff has helped such Hollywood Stars as five time Oscar loser Glen Close and four time Oscar Loser Ed Harris.

Ellen Mafia boots Oscar ratings

The viewership for the Oscars was up 2% from last year and we all know the reason. The amazing Ellen D. was hosting. Plus the stars all said they felt safer than ever at the event since Ellen C. was in charge of security. If only Ellen C. had been able to keep Sally Kirkland and her "dress" out of the Kodak theatre.

Slaporama!

Forget about the Oscars. This sunday check out Lifetime's Domestic Violence movie-a-thon featuring... "My Husband Hit Me Again" starring Melissa Gilbert

"My Boyfriend Is Controlling" starring Tori Spelling"How Long Until He Hits Me?" starring Valerie Bertinelli

"My Boyfrined Was Really Sweet Until He Kicked My Ass" starring Nancy McKeon

And "Gay Boys Get Hit Too" starring Lance Bass

She doesn't need rehab she needs a shot of Penicillin!

Fake Gossip News has discovered the real reason behind Britney Spears erratic behavior lately. It turns out it is she and not the gay slapper that is responsible for the Hollywood Syphilis outbreak. According to our sources Britney knew she had syphilis two years ago but refused to get treated for fear the public would find out. Unfortunately for Britney the disease has progressed and is now making her insane as was witnessed by her shaving her head on Friday. For the love of god somebody get some penicillin and give her a shot before it's too late!!!

Gay Slapper Causes Hollywood Syphilis Outbreak!

As Fake Gossip reported last month the gay slapper took a break from slapping in order to get Justin Timberlake into bed. Well the slapper's dream of a little boom boom with JT came true in late January. The slapper caught up with Justin backstage after one of Justin's concerts. The slapper managed to seduce Timberlake with a mix of alcohol, parlor tricks and bubble wrap. In the days following the encounter people sensed an extra spark in Timberlake. It was clear that a little man on man action did wonders for Timberlake's spirit. In fact Justin began to become obsessed with the gay slapper sending text messages to the slapper day and night saying. "I need it". But the gay slapper had moved on.

A devastated Timberlake cried a river then called up former N'Sync band-mate JC Chasez. The two of them went out and got drunk together then Justin showed JC what the gay slapper had taught him about man on man lovin'. After his night with JC Justin returned to the ladies. First he had a romantic evening with former lover Cameron Diaz testing the waters for a reconciliation. When that didn't work out Justin banged Scarlett Johansson a couple dozen times before moving on to Jessica Biel then back to Johansoon then back to Biel.

Unfortunately for Justin and his string of lovers the gay slapper was carrying a secret. Syphilis! The gay slapper gave Justin syphilis. Not knowing he had the nasty woman's disease Timberlake passed it onto Chasez, Diaz, Johansson and Biel. The news send shock waves around Hollywood. Considering how these kids sleep around it's safe to say there won't be a bottle of penicillin left in LA by President's Day.

Annette sinks further into madness!!!

Annette Benning's decent into madness continues. First came her double loss at the Golden Globes. She once again saw her "Mrs. Harris" performance bested by Helen Mirren's in "Elizabeth I" then her scenery chewing turn in "Running With Scissors" was outdone by Meryl Streep in "The Devil Wears Prada". She acted like it didn't bother her but people should have known better. Her denial was so great that she even managed to convince husband Warren Beatty that not only did the Golden Globe losses not phase her but that she was also over her Hillary Swank obsession.

Warren was so convinced that Annette had turned a corner that he made what he would later admit was a "bad joke". On the Thursday after the Golden Globes Warren and Annette were talking in their kitchen. Annette was drinking a glass of wine. Warren said "Do you want to go to a movie tonight honey?'. Annette replied "That sounds delish. I'll just throw on some jeans and we'll head out. What should we see?" That's when Warren made what he calls "the biggest mistake of my marriage." He replied "Freedom Writers." It was at that point Annette's face turned white. Warren quickly replied "I'm just kidding honey." Annette did not speak but she squeezed her wine glass so hard it shattered in her hand. A concerned Beatty said "Oh, my god honey are you okay?" Annette calmly said "Excuse me I have to go to the bathroom". Once she entered the bathroom she started screaming and breaking things. The crashing could be all the way across the house. Five minutes later Annette exited the bathroom her hair a wild mess and her hand still bleeding from the shattered wine glass and said "How about 'The Hitcher'?"

They couple never made it to a movie that night. Warren gave Annette a sedative and called her therapist for an emergency session.

Happy Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day from Fake Gossip News. In honor of this day we salute the three greatest film couples ever.

Jack & Ennis from "Brokeback Mountain"

Chucky & Tiffany from "Bride Of Chucky"

Joan & The Wire Hanger from "Mommie Dearest"

Sharon Stone goes crazy after loss of Komodo Dragon Baby

Sharon Stone and her Komodo Dragon lover were beyond devastated last week when they lost their human/dragon hybrid baby. In fact the loss sent Sharon over the edge as was witnessed by her bizarre behavior at the Cinema for peace Gala. Adding to Stone's madness is the fact she recently stopped taking her brain medication again.

Divas On Food Stamps: The Movie!!!

Fake Gossip News is pleased to report the fiercest movie in history has signed on not one, not two, not three but seven divas to star in "Divas on food stamps: The Movie"
The movie starts Academy Award nominees Diana Ross and Jennifer Hudson as mother and daughter.












Their characters are what else singers turned actresses who are befriended by a rich lesbian couple (who just love blonde wigs) played by Academy Award winner Cher and Golden Globe winner Madonna.











SAG nominee Dakota Fanning co-stars as Cher & Madonna's lesbian
love child.

Razzie Award winner Mariah Carrey also stars as the evil diva who steals all their money forcing the others to move into a small apartment together and live on food stamps.
Just when the divas think they will be living off food stamps forever they are saved by Dakota’s biological father. Her father turns out to a world famous drag queen played by none other than GLAAD award winner Ru Paul Chares. Ru puts all the divas up in her Hollywood mansion and they all live happily ever after.

The film is scheduled to go into production in April.